We’re half way through 2012 and so far, this year has been the worst year of my life.
- My best friend in the entire world, died.
- I caught one of my parents having an affair.
- Went to my best friend’s funeral.
- University told me to take a year out.
- I’ve been diagnosed with arthritis (I’m in my early 20s).
- My insomnia is worse than ever.
- Likewise my depression and PTSD.
- I keep having nightmares about the years of abuse and the rape.
It’s been a pretty horrible year. I honestly can not think of a worse year. I’ll be glad when this year is over.
I miss my best friend terribly. Every day without her is like a knife in my chest. She was my rock, my partner in crime. And now she’s gone. In all honesty, I’m struggling to find my footing without her by my side.
Things at home are pretty tense.
It’s hard not to despair sometimes. But I’ve realised something. Life is incredibly short. Whether you only make it to 25 (like my best friend) or to 100, life is short. There will always be things you wish that you had done, things you wish you had said. So I’m trying to live my life with no regrets.
Now I’m not talking this ‘YOLO’ shit. Because your actions have consequences. If you want to go out and sleep with 50 people, by all means, be my guest. If that’s what you want to achieve, then go for it. Just use protection. Otherwise you’ll find yourself with a disease that could put an end to your life, or a baby.
Be sensible. Live in the moment, but prepare for the future. I’m saving up money to go on holidays, as that’s my big love - traveling. But at the same time, bills need to be paid and I need food in my belly. It’s finding the half-way ground.
Live each day like it’s your last, but think of your future as well.
But above all else, tell the people that you care about that you love them, because you might not get another chance.